Why Does My Kid Call Me By My First Name?

From the day they learn to talk, our children constantly surprise us with clever, funny, and downright alarming things they say.

Many kids push their parents’ buttons and use words or phrases they’ve picked up to test the boundaries of what’s acceptable—we know our kids love to get a reaction!

One typical example is using their parent’s first name instead of calling them Mom or Dad. The first time your child does this, it might make you laugh or annoy you. It’s expected that the more you react, the more they’ll do it. That may cause you to wonder what makes them want to call you by your name in the first place.

Let’s explore why young toddlers and older children insist on calling their parents by their first name and what you can do to combat this newfound independence.

Why your toddler may call you by your first name

As your baby becomes a toddler, they become more observant of how people interact, how their family members speak to each other, the names they use, and other important information they gather at home, school, and other places where they spend time.

The more time your child hears you being called by your first name—whether it’s by your spouse, your parents, coworkers, or other people you interact with— the more likely they will try to use your name for themselves.

Because toddlers are like little sponges, soaking up everything they see and hear, it’s no surprise they use their parents’ first name rather than “Mommy” or “Daddy.” Just as they want to read a book, cook dinner, or use the computer like their parents, using your first name is another way to play and act like an adult (in their eyes).

If you don’t want your child calling you by your first name, try explaining to them that you (Mom or Dad) have a special relationship that allows them to call you by your chosen name. Explain that only your child (and any other siblings) can call you this unique name, which may encourage them to call you Mama or Daddy again!

Encouraging or asking your child to call you Mommy or Daddy may not work immediately. This also presents the opportunity to talk with your child about respecting adults’ names and how to address a grown-up.

Whether using Auntie or Uncle, Miss or Mr., or any other title you’ve deemed appropriate, you can use this opportunity to talk with your toddler about using first names for everyone in their lives.

At this age, it’s not anything to sweat over. Young children are constantly learning, changing, and growing; they’re bound to experiment with names as they learn them. Keep the conversation open about respecting and addressing adults correctly, and be sure to answer any questions they have, even if they’re silly.

Toddlers learn from everything you do and say, so open communication is vital at this young age.

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Why your older child may call you by your first name

Your older children may enter a phase where they begin calling you by your first name instead of Mom or Dad.

This can signal the need for more independence at home, but if you disapprove of this sudden name change, it’s essential to talk to your child about it right away to nip it in the bud.

Ask why they’re suddenly calling you by your first name and what spurred the change. They may have heard their friends calling their parents by their first names and want to do the same.

This conversation may provide insight into what’s going on in your child’s head; craving more independence, respect, or freedom at home, or maybe they’re just observing how their friends interact with their parents.

Tweens’ and teens’ brains are growing and changing so quickly that this new name change may be a phase they’re going through, just like a toddler’s phase. If you’re uncomfortable with being called by your first name, explain your reasoning and ask respectfully to be called Mom or Dad.

Having an open conversation with patience and respect will show your child that you respect them enough to talk with them like an adult, which may be all they’re looking for anyway.

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Final thoughts on first names

Whether you’re okay with blurring the lines of parent-child boundaries or you want to be called Mom for as long as possible, remember that your child is constantly learning and evolving.

Being addressed by your first name is something to avoid getting too riled up about; we always encourage having conversations about respectful ways to address adults to help your children understand the proper etiquette and manners. These vary from family to family, so it’s important to discuss with your partner the precedent you want to set with your children, regardless of age.

Whether your kids call you by your name, parental title, or any other moniker, as long as you’re comfortable with it, that’s what matters!

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